finally friday comes..after so many things I have to do this week, I can put myself into "relaxing" mode. oh, on last wednesday, I felt my whole world falling apart around me, everything that happened to me were tearing me into pieces. I felt so little and not worthed..but having such a nice friends like Van, Jen and Fel, they cheered me up and yeah, I felt better. That time, I also feel that I miss my Mum so much, need her...I wonder, why can't I be as happy as I used to be? somehow I think that all the smile and laugh I made were all fake..am I strong, or am I just a great pretender?? ........................................

Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did, I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard. I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far.. Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk, Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt, Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me,but everyone around me,... Because of you, I am afraid I lose my way, and its not too long before you point it out . I cannot cry, because I know that’s weakness in your eyes. I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life. My heart can’t possibly break, when it wasn’t even whole to start with.. I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep. I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night, doin the same damn thing.. Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk, Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything, Because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in.. Because of you I’m ashamed of my life, because its empty.. Because of you, I am afraid.. Because of you… Because of you…